Well it's Sunday night. Another weekend is pretty much over. How many dates did we have this weekend? Um...none. Well that's not necessarily fair to my "almost" boo. Yes I said "almost." We're kind of at the gun range and both of us are having trouble pulling the trigger.
The think I hate most about dating is the uncertainty. I mean you spend so much time with someone getting to know their "representative" and then making that "pimp decision" as Katt Williams would say on whether or not you want to actually try to be around them more than every once in a while. That's all a relationship is really. It kind of looks like this on a scale:
Casual Acquaintance - See you when I see you
Casually Dating - See you when I see you and sometimes I may let you take me out
Dating - Sometimes I'll pay when we go out
Relationship - I guess you can come around more than once every other weekend
Marriage - Well damn...guess we get to see each other when we go to bed AND when we wake up in the morning.
Seriously, marriage should be better than that but I'm trying to create a humorous picture of dating that any six year old can understand my frustration with. So about the "almost boo" situation.
We've been communicating with one another for nearly two months. We've been seeing each other a few times a week for the last two weeks or so. But we're both admittedly still dating. While my side of the still dating coin is more like ruling out other options, his side of the coin is more than likely making sure nothing else is better for him than Moi. How is that different from what I'm doing? Simply put, I want to make sure that how I feel when I am around him is not simply because he's a man. So while he is looking for something better than me, I'm looking for the same connection in another man...not necessarily a "better" man.
So why can't I pull the trigger?
I have dating PTSD. When I talk to him, he calms me but what do we really talk about? Me. Because I talk more than I listen. That's a work in progress and besides the point...then again it could be the point exactly. I want him to feel free to share with me. So I try to not talk and he clams up...and falls asleep. Go figure. But the kids/cats like him. Coco Chanel literally meows goodbye to him when he leaves, and Oscar likes him enough to lay on him. That's got to be a good sign right? What the hell do animals know about people? I guess animals do have a way of sensing when people are innately bad but a cat hiding under the bed is hardly a red flag.
Nonetheless, I digress. We shall trudge onward and see what happens. But I know one thing is for sure...I'm not sure how much longer I'll be teetering toward him. It's funny how life works. You want a relationship to find you, then when proposed with an option, you pick it apart. I'm such a woman. lol
TTFN
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Tired of the BullShit
Mmmmkay...
Each day that passes gets more wearisome. Yesterday, I was contacted by someone from my past. Not so distant past, but 2012 nonetheless. I'll call him Travis.
Travis and I met via Plenty of Fish and never met in person. Instead we exchanged photos and phone numbers and and endless stream of text messages at all hours of the day and night for months. Literally for months. Now, pardon my French, but you can only irritate me for so long before I get pissed off. I finally came at him like "dude, we've been texting for like a hundred years...when are we going to meet?" Crickets.
Three days later, "poke".
WTF is it with grown ass men and the random texts???
I mean if I didn't have unlimited messaging, a diva would be straight pissed off at the random texts to see if I would respond. So I stopped responding. Two days after that, I asked him again...when we would get to graduate to actual phone calls. Again, crickets for a week this time.
So my sister sent him a text while we were in KC for the holidays that told him in no uncertain terms to kick rocks. So he did until yesterday.
Now he emailed me from an old email account...out of the blue...wanting to "catch up." It was going ok at first then he asks me "Dressed?"
HUH?
I ask him why wouldn't I be...to which he responds, "HA you never know."
WTF??? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....my inner self says to me...bitch he ain't changed. He's still lame.
So I told him the following...(this is literally copy/pasted from the email I sent him)
Each day that passes gets more wearisome. Yesterday, I was contacted by someone from my past. Not so distant past, but 2012 nonetheless. I'll call him Travis.
Travis and I met via Plenty of Fish and never met in person. Instead we exchanged photos and phone numbers and and endless stream of text messages at all hours of the day and night for months. Literally for months. Now, pardon my French, but you can only irritate me for so long before I get pissed off. I finally came at him like "dude, we've been texting for like a hundred years...when are we going to meet?" Crickets.
Three days later, "poke".
WTF is it with grown ass men and the random texts???
I mean if I didn't have unlimited messaging, a diva would be straight pissed off at the random texts to see if I would respond. So I stopped responding. Two days after that, I asked him again...when we would get to graduate to actual phone calls. Again, crickets for a week this time.
So my sister sent him a text while we were in KC for the holidays that told him in no uncertain terms to kick rocks. So he did until yesterday.
Now he emailed me from an old email account...out of the blue...wanting to "catch up." It was going ok at first then he asks me "Dressed?"
HUH?
I ask him why wouldn't I be...to which he responds, "HA you never know."
WTF??? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....my inner self says to me...bitch he ain't changed. He's still lame.
So I told him the following...(this is literally copy/pasted from the email I sent him)
"I honestly don't know why you're contacting me again after all this time. It doesn't appear that much has changed with you. In the past, at some point in our endless exchange of text messages you would say something sexual. Just like today. We were having a perfectly normal conversation then out of the blue you ask me if I'm dressed. Quite honestly it drives me crazy when you do that. Why? Because I feel like every man I meet thinks I'm a nice ass and a huge pair of tits and that's all there is to me. Here's the thing about me though:
I'm 35 yrs old
I'm single because I refuse to put up with bullshit. Between my grandparents and my job, I have enough drama. I don't have a PS3 anymore so I don't play games.
I'm only looking for men that are interested in dating. Period. I have enough friends.
In my opinion, dating consists of the following:
we meet...we go to places...we do stuff...we keep our clothes on...we may exchange a kiss at the end of the event if the mood and chemistry is right...we repeat.
At some point if we decide after we've repeated the "dating cycle" for a while that we only want to see each other...we commit to one another and voila...we have a relationship.
In relationships, I am monogamous and I expect my partner to be. I absolutely will not participate in any form of intercourse (anal, vaginal nor oral) without a mutually committed, mutually monogamous and exclusive relationship. Point blank and the period. No exceptions.
I have a horrible habit of over analysing everything. So at this point in time, what you need to know is the endless texts and never meeting each other and never talking to each other on the phone went out between us in 2012. It's the '13 now. In the '13, THIS woman dates. If you don't date you have the following options with this woman:
Pen pal - we email one another and keep it very very simply at that.
Friends - we may occasionally talk on the phone but we don't meet in person and we don't hang out, and we especially do NOT sext one another (i.e. dirty text message).
Go back to studying and not contacting me.
Those are your three options. There's nothing in the middle. This is where I'm at in the '13. I understand if you're not there.
Ultimately, one of us (most likely me) will end up aggravated this "thing" between us not having a name nor definitive direction. I'm not willing to do that with you again. I certainly hope that you didn't really mean anything bad by contacting me. Again...I'm overly analytical. Comes with the package.
Short version:
I have to know what your goal related to me is. If you don't know. I highly suggest you take some time and think about it. You can get back to me when you've made a decision."
His decision...to go back to kicking rocks. He's not the first one from the '13 that has had to make that decision. Some of these men online are really grinding my gears because I can only assume that THEY assume that online dating sites are for the desperate. It couldn't be for the socially awkward, or for the people wanting to meet someone from a different area...nope...only for the desperate. Sucka paleeze! When I see the fake, I'm calling him out. I'm going to adamantly request that everyone else that is tired of the dating BS do the same.
Like I said...I don't have a PS3 no more...so that means I don't play in the '13 sucka!
TTFN
Monday, January 28, 2013
So THIS is Dating
Well y'all, I've officially had my "first" date of the '13. I want to be excited but honestly, I'm still trying to wrap my head around a few things. Israel (changing his name to protect anyone that may know him) was charming, kind, and very lean. Lean is a kind word. When I stand next to him, I feel insecure. Let me start from the beginning.
I started talking to Israel exactly one week ago. We met online and communicated via email. We exchanged last names and cell phone numbers and started texting each other. We communicate at least 2 times a day, every day in one way or another. So we originally were supposed to meet last Friday. Then we changed it to last Thursday but I made a critical error: I took a nap. Why was that an error? Because lately, every time I wake up from a nap or a decent slumber, I have a migraine. Go figure. So that blew Thursday. Friday I wasn't feeling it so we played it cool and finally decided tonight was the night that we would meet.
I kept my stress level to a severe minimum all day, watched We Bought A Zoo...cutest move EVERRR by the way!!! Then I did it again. I took a nap so I would be refreshed this evening. Woke up with a headache too. Then to add insult to injury, it looked so overcast and dreary outside that made me not want to go at all. I felt myself starting to get anxious. Emotional even. I called my homegirl TT and got a great pep talk ... put my big girl panties on and got dressed to go on my date.
Traffic irritated me to the point I was glad that I had left early enough to deal with all the people on the road that evidently did not want to go home from work. Once I made it to the restaurant, I sent him a text to let him know. My nerves were on edge. I was nervous, edgy because of my road fury, and my head still hurt. I checked my wig...still in place...seemed to be secure. The last thing a diva wants is for her wig to slip in the middle of a date. Not a good look.
I went inside and less than 2 minutes later Israel showed up. He looked exactly like his picture. Immediately my mind went into panic mode. Did he think I looked like MY picture? Was he attracted to me? Was I attracted to him? He is 13 yrs my senior. He has a daughter that's a teenager. I bet she's absolutely stunning. Most women from his culture are in my opinion. He was very lean. I guess fit is the right word. Immediately I feel insecure just standing next to him because I'm literally about 3 times his size. He's taller than me by 4 inches though. Nonetheless Israel is an attractive guy that I'm not 100% sure I'm attracted to.
We hug and he asks if I had been there before. Only once. We decided on some fruit and tea. My stomach was on some whole other shit so not like I could've eaten much anyway. We talked. That's when he hit me with the invisible bat that shattered all of the confidence I had spent building for the last hour. See, yesterday we were talking about our hobbies and whatnot and he shared that his favorite hobby was to play soccer. I said mine was to sleep or watch reality TV. Then he asked me if I exercise. I told him the truth: the last time I actually exercised was before Thanksgiving. I said that I have to be in the mood to do it. What I do is watch how much I eat as opposed to what I eat because I don't do well with restrictions. So we were reflecting on hobbies today and he says "I guess I can tell you about my clinic." Turns out he owns a weight loss clinic. Damn those fates...bitches!
Here's more food for thought...
I've been a patient at his clinic before. Twice actually. The 2nd time he grilled me about not coming back and asked me if I was going to be able to stick with it this time...at the time I had been laid off from my job. So I'm really questioning this one.
So I'm fighting internally with the "he's not telling you so that you can go to his clinic" but sharing his vocation. Yet considering our mismatch in hobbies and activity levels, my insecurities prevail. At the end of the date, he walked me to my car, we hugged and decided to see each other again this week. I'm okay with that.
I asked him if he remembered me. Of course not. Too many patients.
I asked if he was attracted to me as I am right now, or if he felt I would be more attractive if I lost weight. His answer: Both. I'm chewing on that one for a while. Not sure how to feel about that.
Life (especially dating) is soooooo not like a romance novel. Sometimes the chemistry is not instant. But isn't that how it should be? Is it wrong for me to want to be wooed? Onward I ponder.
TTFN
I started talking to Israel exactly one week ago. We met online and communicated via email. We exchanged last names and cell phone numbers and started texting each other. We communicate at least 2 times a day, every day in one way or another. So we originally were supposed to meet last Friday. Then we changed it to last Thursday but I made a critical error: I took a nap. Why was that an error? Because lately, every time I wake up from a nap or a decent slumber, I have a migraine. Go figure. So that blew Thursday. Friday I wasn't feeling it so we played it cool and finally decided tonight was the night that we would meet.
I kept my stress level to a severe minimum all day, watched We Bought A Zoo...cutest move EVERRR by the way!!! Then I did it again. I took a nap so I would be refreshed this evening. Woke up with a headache too. Then to add insult to injury, it looked so overcast and dreary outside that made me not want to go at all. I felt myself starting to get anxious. Emotional even. I called my homegirl TT and got a great pep talk ... put my big girl panties on and got dressed to go on my date.
Traffic irritated me to the point I was glad that I had left early enough to deal with all the people on the road that evidently did not want to go home from work. Once I made it to the restaurant, I sent him a text to let him know. My nerves were on edge. I was nervous, edgy because of my road fury, and my head still hurt. I checked my wig...still in place...seemed to be secure. The last thing a diva wants is for her wig to slip in the middle of a date. Not a good look.
I went inside and less than 2 minutes later Israel showed up. He looked exactly like his picture. Immediately my mind went into panic mode. Did he think I looked like MY picture? Was he attracted to me? Was I attracted to him? He is 13 yrs my senior. He has a daughter that's a teenager. I bet she's absolutely stunning. Most women from his culture are in my opinion. He was very lean. I guess fit is the right word. Immediately I feel insecure just standing next to him because I'm literally about 3 times his size. He's taller than me by 4 inches though. Nonetheless Israel is an attractive guy that I'm not 100% sure I'm attracted to.
We hug and he asks if I had been there before. Only once. We decided on some fruit and tea. My stomach was on some whole other shit so not like I could've eaten much anyway. We talked. That's when he hit me with the invisible bat that shattered all of the confidence I had spent building for the last hour. See, yesterday we were talking about our hobbies and whatnot and he shared that his favorite hobby was to play soccer. I said mine was to sleep or watch reality TV. Then he asked me if I exercise. I told him the truth: the last time I actually exercised was before Thanksgiving. I said that I have to be in the mood to do it. What I do is watch how much I eat as opposed to what I eat because I don't do well with restrictions. So we were reflecting on hobbies today and he says "I guess I can tell you about my clinic." Turns out he owns a weight loss clinic. Damn those fates...bitches!
Here's more food for thought...
I've been a patient at his clinic before. Twice actually. The 2nd time he grilled me about not coming back and asked me if I was going to be able to stick with it this time...at the time I had been laid off from my job. So I'm really questioning this one.
So I'm fighting internally with the "he's not telling you so that you can go to his clinic" but sharing his vocation. Yet considering our mismatch in hobbies and activity levels, my insecurities prevail. At the end of the date, he walked me to my car, we hugged and decided to see each other again this week. I'm okay with that.
I asked him if he remembered me. Of course not. Too many patients.
I asked if he was attracted to me as I am right now, or if he felt I would be more attractive if I lost weight. His answer: Both. I'm chewing on that one for a while. Not sure how to feel about that.
Life (especially dating) is soooooo not like a romance novel. Sometimes the chemistry is not instant. But isn't that how it should be? Is it wrong for me to want to be wooed? Onward I ponder.
TTFN
Friday, January 25, 2013
The Fates
Y'all...
Have you seen Hercules the cartoon? Remember the fates? Those three sisters that resembled the 3 sisters in Macbeth? Well those chics won't leave me alone!
So my first date of the '13 cancelled because I was on a mood regulator. Personally, I recommend everyone take one. It really helps you not slam into the back of an idiot's car when you drive if you have road fury like I do, or slap the punk ass cashier for telling you her lane is closed after you've already been standing in the damn line for over 5 minutes ... AND her light is still on. Well I guess you'll just have to ring me up before you take that break then huh? I mean she SAW me standing there and empty my lil basket an errthang! Arg!
Anyway, date number two came into the picture on Monday. With the help of my pen pal, we're on the mutual mission to find me a boo in the '13. I ended up meeting a really nice guy. We'll call him Israel to protect his identity. We emailed each other every day, multiple times a day all this week. Yaaay us!
Anyone that has Internet dated knows all too well that the life of an Internet relationship is about 3 weeks tops. So for us to be this cool is a good sign. Damn those fates!!! The day I am supposed to meet up with him what happens but I get the mother and father of all migraines. I mean I literally thought my head would pop off my neck. I'm not kidding. The pain was at such a level of intensity I have never felt before. So I had to ask him to postpone.
He is so understanding and kind. I am thankful he's not like #1.
One thing I have noticed about men that are online is that they are really pushing the envelope. I mean my favorite lies are:
"But I'm separated." - Um homie that's not single.
"But I started my last relationship as friends with benefits" - Clearly that worked out excellent considering you're single now.
I mean do they hear what they say? Do they read what they write?
I'm not asking for a rocket scientist but damn...can you compose a sentence when you're supposed to be impressing me? I mean you expect me to pull out the bikini or slinky dress photo to impress you...I expect your words to impress me. Just sayin. Especially since you don't look anything like Channing Tatum. Ooooh Lawd Channing Tatum is gon be a daddy. I can't even talk right when I type that boi's name. Anywhoo.
So why is it so wrong for me to want to be as attracted to the guy I date as he is to me? I say it's NOT wrong dammit! So I have to step up my physical game in order to attract the kind of guy I'm attracted to. That's going to take a while. In the meantime in between time, I hope this headache goes away soon so I can meet Israel. Maybe something will happen there...if the fates allow.
TTFN
Have you seen Hercules the cartoon? Remember the fates? Those three sisters that resembled the 3 sisters in Macbeth? Well those chics won't leave me alone!
So my first date of the '13 cancelled because I was on a mood regulator. Personally, I recommend everyone take one. It really helps you not slam into the back of an idiot's car when you drive if you have road fury like I do, or slap the punk ass cashier for telling you her lane is closed after you've already been standing in the damn line for over 5 minutes ... AND her light is still on. Well I guess you'll just have to ring me up before you take that break then huh? I mean she SAW me standing there and empty my lil basket an errthang! Arg!
Anyway, date number two came into the picture on Monday. With the help of my pen pal, we're on the mutual mission to find me a boo in the '13. I ended up meeting a really nice guy. We'll call him Israel to protect his identity. We emailed each other every day, multiple times a day all this week. Yaaay us!
Anyone that has Internet dated knows all too well that the life of an Internet relationship is about 3 weeks tops. So for us to be this cool is a good sign. Damn those fates!!! The day I am supposed to meet up with him what happens but I get the mother and father of all migraines. I mean I literally thought my head would pop off my neck. I'm not kidding. The pain was at such a level of intensity I have never felt before. So I had to ask him to postpone.
He is so understanding and kind. I am thankful he's not like #1.
One thing I have noticed about men that are online is that they are really pushing the envelope. I mean my favorite lies are:
"But I'm separated." - Um homie that's not single.
"But I started my last relationship as friends with benefits" - Clearly that worked out excellent considering you're single now.
I mean do they hear what they say? Do they read what they write?
I'm not asking for a rocket scientist but damn...can you compose a sentence when you're supposed to be impressing me? I mean you expect me to pull out the bikini or slinky dress photo to impress you...I expect your words to impress me. Just sayin. Especially since you don't look anything like Channing Tatum. Ooooh Lawd Channing Tatum is gon be a daddy. I can't even talk right when I type that boi's name. Anywhoo.
So why is it so wrong for me to want to be as attracted to the guy I date as he is to me? I say it's NOT wrong dammit! So I have to step up my physical game in order to attract the kind of guy I'm attracted to. That's going to take a while. In the meantime in between time, I hope this headache goes away soon so I can meet Israel. Maybe something will happen there...if the fates allow.
TTFN
Sunday, January 6, 2013
When Dreams May Come
Sweet baby Jesus y'all (as Gloria from BBW would say) I just had a hellova dream.
I was working for someone ridiculously wealthy and they had me doing various projects and errands for them. Anyway, why was their house like built into a football stadium? You can probably see where I'm going with this. So their home was built into a football stadium and I got lost. A football player ... tall ... dark hair ... gorgeous hazel green eyes ... chiseled body ... bronzed skin ... just a complete Adonis to gaze upon asked me if I was lost. In his beauty, absolutely! I nodded. He started to show me back to whence I came then stated he had oodles of time since I am working in the house adjacent to the stadium. His eyes sparkled, his face lit up. We went to security and I tried to give the name of my employers. My filthy rich employers. I'm drawing a blank.
So Adonis thinks I'm lying. He's trying to get away. He turns back toward the stadium and I'm left standing there looking like a drooling, stammering idiot. My friend, who is their nanny comes in about five seconds later to watch him go away. Her blond hair flowing like Maria in a wind machine. She calls out to him Nick wait, you can still come with us. He clutches his heart and growls at her? WTF?
Ok so the damn dream was weird on a whole new level of weird, but I instantly woke up thinking 2 things:
1) I HAVE to blog about this, and
2) Why is it that men can have their pick of the litter when women are left to "settle"?
Dammit I absolutely, blatantly refuse (read me) REFUSE to settle for less than my Adonis. I realize I have shortened my dating pool down to probably 20 men on the entire planet, but if that's my choice then so be it. Now comes the task of actually finding him. The Adonis for me. This is one of the reasons I read romance novels. The uber hot guy doesn't automatically fall for silicone perked up boobies and anorexic hips (no offense to those women struggling out there with those issues ... I'm just trying to make a point). There is a chance that he actually falls for the "regular" every day fabulous woman. Now I take my "go out" glam factor up a notch or three. I consider myself an 8 on a 10 scale ... why is it so wrong of me to want the same?
A man that takes care of his body
A man that can hold an intelligent conversation and knows the difference between to and too or there, they're, and their
A man that was raised to be a gentleman
A man that likes to fish and hunt but doesn't necessarily expect me to skin what he catches
A man that has goals, like moving up with the company he works for or owning his own business one day
A man that doesn't have as many baby mamas as he has kids
A man that pays his court ordered child support if he does have kids
A man that has a decently cordial relationship with his ex wife, or baby mama
One that can actually make our combined $60K look, and feel like $600K without giving me the business for getting a pedicure
One that is not immediately looking at the size of my chest or backside, but is actually looking at my face, eyes, and wondering what his mother would think of me
and finally,
One that actually understands that both of us have faults so there is no need to hold them over one another's head every day.
I know I'm wishful thinking because I'm ever hopeful that this man that I've described comes in a package over 5'10" tall at least, with an accent that isn't Spanish as a bonus. I've tried to look past physical appearance alone and get to know men before I know what they look like (via email) and once I get the photo ... I am slightly disappointed. That makes me wonder how disappointed they may be on the other side of MY email. So when does it become looking good to be a better YOU versus looking good to impress a better kind of man?
I need cyber world answers on this one. Comments are opened up.
I was working for someone ridiculously wealthy and they had me doing various projects and errands for them. Anyway, why was their house like built into a football stadium? You can probably see where I'm going with this. So their home was built into a football stadium and I got lost. A football player ... tall ... dark hair ... gorgeous hazel green eyes ... chiseled body ... bronzed skin ... just a complete Adonis to gaze upon asked me if I was lost. In his beauty, absolutely! I nodded. He started to show me back to whence I came then stated he had oodles of time since I am working in the house adjacent to the stadium. His eyes sparkled, his face lit up. We went to security and I tried to give the name of my employers. My filthy rich employers. I'm drawing a blank.
So Adonis thinks I'm lying. He's trying to get away. He turns back toward the stadium and I'm left standing there looking like a drooling, stammering idiot. My friend, who is their nanny comes in about five seconds later to watch him go away. Her blond hair flowing like Maria in a wind machine. She calls out to him Nick wait, you can still come with us. He clutches his heart and growls at her? WTF?
Ok so the damn dream was weird on a whole new level of weird, but I instantly woke up thinking 2 things:
1) I HAVE to blog about this, and
2) Why is it that men can have their pick of the litter when women are left to "settle"?
Dammit I absolutely, blatantly refuse (read me) REFUSE to settle for less than my Adonis. I realize I have shortened my dating pool down to probably 20 men on the entire planet, but if that's my choice then so be it. Now comes the task of actually finding him. The Adonis for me. This is one of the reasons I read romance novels. The uber hot guy doesn't automatically fall for silicone perked up boobies and anorexic hips (no offense to those women struggling out there with those issues ... I'm just trying to make a point). There is a chance that he actually falls for the "regular" every day fabulous woman. Now I take my "go out" glam factor up a notch or three. I consider myself an 8 on a 10 scale ... why is it so wrong of me to want the same?
A man that takes care of his body
A man that can hold an intelligent conversation and knows the difference between to and too or there, they're, and their
A man that was raised to be a gentleman
A man that likes to fish and hunt but doesn't necessarily expect me to skin what he catches
A man that has goals, like moving up with the company he works for or owning his own business one day
A man that doesn't have as many baby mamas as he has kids
A man that pays his court ordered child support if he does have kids
A man that has a decently cordial relationship with his ex wife, or baby mama
One that can actually make our combined $60K look, and feel like $600K without giving me the business for getting a pedicure
One that is not immediately looking at the size of my chest or backside, but is actually looking at my face, eyes, and wondering what his mother would think of me
and finally,
One that actually understands that both of us have faults so there is no need to hold them over one another's head every day.
I know I'm wishful thinking because I'm ever hopeful that this man that I've described comes in a package over 5'10" tall at least, with an accent that isn't Spanish as a bonus. I've tried to look past physical appearance alone and get to know men before I know what they look like (via email) and once I get the photo ... I am slightly disappointed. That makes me wonder how disappointed they may be on the other side of MY email. So when does it become looking good to be a better YOU versus looking good to impress a better kind of man?
I need cyber world answers on this one. Comments are opened up.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Pre-Date Cancellation
Welcome to 2013!
I'm 35, single and flyy, and ready for my special someone. Sooooooo that means I have to d d ddd sheesh I can't even bring myself to say the dang word. D A T E. There. I spelled it.
Let's face it. Dating friggin sucks ass for anyone that has to do it. Too many guys are used to the desperate availability of women online, preying on their vulnerabilities. Even if you can navigate through the crap in the crowd, over 50% of men you'll meet will fail to meet your minimum standards. I am a HUGE fan of minimum standards.
Take for example Craigslist. Now before you go saying "well there's your problem" hear/read me out. Craigslist is free, so you know everyone you hear from is actually able to contact you. Unlike dating sites where you have to pay to read your emails. Just because YOU pay/subscribe does not mean that the supposedly eligible beau you email has done the same. I am of the opinion that my emails on those paid subscriber sites go into lala land. Anyway, back to Craigs.
Now CL has lots of options to choose from depending upon your mood. I can say that I have sought every fantasy of male possible: lawyer, fireman, personal trainer...with the help of CL I have found all of them. In this regard, CL is very useful ... for getting you exactly what you desire. To speak of. I have met some hotties. I've met some not so hotties. I've definitely had the misfortune of receiving some naughty emails in response to my ads. That comes along with the territory. Nonetheless, nothing has panned out to anything remotely resembling anything permanent. Of course you're attributing this to the search starting on CL. I attribute this to my own stupidity.
Case in point a gentleman I've met recently. Let's call him Terry. Terry and I decided to correspond over ponderables. Things that mean nothing in particular but perplex us both at the same time. We developed sort of a bond over these ponderables over a span of about a month. I remember starting correspondence with him shortly after Thanksgiving. We had breaks but never more than a few days. Suffice it to say we were email friends. I never asked for his last name. I never asked for a photo. He paid me the same courtesy.
Yesterday I was having a bad day. In 2012 roughly 80% of my days I would consider to be bad, but I'm 1) a woman, 2) overly emotional, and 3) on medication. Number three somehow got revealed. Why? How? He asked me how my day was. I was honest. Told him it was shitty but thankfully I've taken my meds so I can look forward to tomorrow. Classic over share. Nonetheless, he drops me an IM today and tells me that he's had other dates with women that were on medication and it never ended up working out. So he'd rather not waste his time or mine. However I scored bonus points for sharing before going left on him. Mmmkay.
So what have we learned?
For starters, a guy you've yet to have a first date with need not know you're on prescribed medication for mental health.
This is a valuable lesson. I lack good judgement sometimes. Often I speak before I think about what's coming out of my mouth. I suppose I am too much of an open book. Ahwell. On to the next...
I'm 35, single and flyy, and ready for my special someone. Sooooooo that means I have to d d ddd sheesh I can't even bring myself to say the dang word. D A T E. There. I spelled it.
Let's face it. Dating friggin sucks ass for anyone that has to do it. Too many guys are used to the desperate availability of women online, preying on their vulnerabilities. Even if you can navigate through the crap in the crowd, over 50% of men you'll meet will fail to meet your minimum standards. I am a HUGE fan of minimum standards.
Take for example Craigslist. Now before you go saying "well there's your problem" hear/read me out. Craigslist is free, so you know everyone you hear from is actually able to contact you. Unlike dating sites where you have to pay to read your emails. Just because YOU pay/subscribe does not mean that the supposedly eligible beau you email has done the same. I am of the opinion that my emails on those paid subscriber sites go into lala land. Anyway, back to Craigs.
Now CL has lots of options to choose from depending upon your mood. I can say that I have sought every fantasy of male possible: lawyer, fireman, personal trainer...with the help of CL I have found all of them. In this regard, CL is very useful ... for getting you exactly what you desire. To speak of. I have met some hotties. I've met some not so hotties. I've definitely had the misfortune of receiving some naughty emails in response to my ads. That comes along with the territory. Nonetheless, nothing has panned out to anything remotely resembling anything permanent. Of course you're attributing this to the search starting on CL. I attribute this to my own stupidity.
Case in point a gentleman I've met recently. Let's call him Terry. Terry and I decided to correspond over ponderables. Things that mean nothing in particular but perplex us both at the same time. We developed sort of a bond over these ponderables over a span of about a month. I remember starting correspondence with him shortly after Thanksgiving. We had breaks but never more than a few days. Suffice it to say we were email friends. I never asked for his last name. I never asked for a photo. He paid me the same courtesy.
Yesterday I was having a bad day. In 2012 roughly 80% of my days I would consider to be bad, but I'm 1) a woman, 2) overly emotional, and 3) on medication. Number three somehow got revealed. Why? How? He asked me how my day was. I was honest. Told him it was shitty but thankfully I've taken my meds so I can look forward to tomorrow. Classic over share. Nonetheless, he drops me an IM today and tells me that he's had other dates with women that were on medication and it never ended up working out. So he'd rather not waste his time or mine. However I scored bonus points for sharing before going left on him. Mmmkay.
So what have we learned?
For starters, a guy you've yet to have a first date with need not know you're on prescribed medication for mental health.
This is a valuable lesson. I lack good judgement sometimes. Often I speak before I think about what's coming out of my mouth. I suppose I am too much of an open book. Ahwell. On to the next...
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